Suricrasia Online

Welcome to Suricrasia Online!

"Connecting your world, whenever!"

Suricrasian Merchandise

Warning! We just rebranded! We'll be making merch with the new logo soon!

Suricrasia Online Coffee Mug

Suricrasia Online Coffee Mug

You can now get your hands, paws, fins, and/or talons on your very own Suricrasia Online Coffee Mug through proprietary capitalist website "RedBubble!" These beautiful, 325mL ceramic drinking vessels display our logo on both sides, so it doesn't matter which of your four hands you use to hold it: you and the people around you will have a clear line of sight to Suricrasia Online's corporate brand! And really, could you ever want anything else?

Oh! And they're dishwasher safe, you'd probably want that too.

The royalty is set to 0%, so they're as cheap as can be! Click the button below to be taken to the product page!

You've trusted us with your connection, now trust us with your coffee!

Suricrasia Online T-Shirt

Suricrasia Online T-Shirt

We've heard on the grapevine that penetration testers love to get vintage AT&T shirts to help them blend in as maintinence workers, when what they're actually doing is breaking through security. We at Suricrasia Online were offended to hear this! What's so good about AT&T? Why not Suricrasia Online?! Is it because we don't have an official shirt? Is that it?!

Well that won't be a problem for much longer! We are proud to announce our new official Suricrasia Online T-Shirt, brought to you by RedBubble! These shirts come in 5 different sizes, are made of 100% cotton, and also have the Suricrasia Online logo printed on the front. Buy yours today!

Like the coffee mugs, the T-Shirts have their royalty is set to 0%, so they're as cheap as can be! Click the button below to be taken to the product page!

You've trusted us with your connection, now trust us with your... um... body!

Suricrasia Online Laptop Stickers (Limited Edition of 100) SOLD OUT

Suricrasia Online Laptop Stickers

Ever wanted to display your favourite internet service provider in a place the whole world can see? Do you find yourself with a sensual thrill from the thought of everyone knowing you're a member of Suricrasia Online? Would you jump at the opportunity to act on these exhibitionist desires?

We have just the thing to scratch those strange feelings stirring deep within your heart. Weighing in at a portable 5 by 10 centimetres, our vinyl laptop stickers display the Suricrasia Online logo in deliciously rich blacks and stunningly bright whites. And the best part? They're absolutely free.

As a member of Suricrasia Online you are entitled to exactly one free Suricrasia Online Laptop Sticker. Don't remember if you're a member or not? No problem, you are. Simply click the link below to be taken to our order form. Write in your mailing address, put an "X" next to the terms and conditions, and hit send!

Unfortunately we have exhausted our supply of free stickers! Thank you to everyone who ordered! Stay tuned for future merchandise from Suricrasia Online!

Buy coffee for us through Ko-Fi!

Because of the transactionless nature of selling free goods, Suricrasia Online cannot grow as a business through the accumulation of wealth in the way late capitalism demands. Suricrasia Online accepts and embraces this, choosing instead to be a so-called "corporate persona" extant only in the mind of a single squishy shark girl named Blackle Mori.

However, some of you really want to send us money. Your desires are important to us, so we decided to join the micro-transaction internet website "Ko-Fi" to facilitate the process. Click the button below to transmit exactly 3 CAD to Suricrasia Online's lakeshore headquarters!

Please note: Our sticker campaign and our Ko-Fi account are completely separate things. Ordering a sticker does not mean you have to send us money, nor does sending money mean that you've ordered a sticker.